|From The Passion of the Christ
What does the Bible say about adultery?
Proverbs 6:32 states, “He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself.”
In other words, it is foolish and it ruins lives.
Hebrews 13:4 reads, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
God expects believers to honor their marriages by remaining faithful.
In Matthew 5:28, Jesus says, “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Jesus expects believers to control their minds and their bodies.
So what is adultery?
Adultery is voluntarily cheating on a spouse with someone else to whom you are not married. It is typically defined as sexual cheating, but really involves doing anything with another person that should be reserved for your spouse alone.
God desires what is best for his children and he knows that adultery is hurtful to us. Here are a few reasons why it is so hurtful:
- If there are children involved, it is devastating to their lives. There may even be some long term problems they face as a result of what a parent has done.
- It breaks apart homes that took so much work to build and cultivate.
- There is emotional stress and trauma involved for all parties.
- It destroys trust.
- It destroys healthy relationships with friends, co-workers, employers, and family members.
- With adultery comes guilt and shame.
- It never leads to complete happiness.
- It does not make other problems in life go away.
- It plays upon your conscience.
- The consequences are long lasting, and sometimes they lead to results that you would never have wished for.
How should Christians react to someone who has committed adultery?
If you know someone who has committed adultery and has repented, you should forgive the person and move past it. If you know someone who is currently committing adultery, you should confront the person and encourage him or her to repent. If the person refuses, take 2 or 3 with you to confront the individual again. If the person still refuses, take it to the church. If the person does repent, the married couple should seek counseling to work out the issue. The goal is getting the person to turn from the error and to again be faithful. If the person is unwilling to repent, then the other spouse may ask for a divorce and should not be judged for doing so.
How should Christians react to someone who has been a victim of an extramarital affair?
Christians should support the victim and encourage both parties in the relationship to seek counseling. They should refrain from judging the victim, but should work to help the couple reconcile if possible.
What if I have cheated on my spouse?
If you have cheated, you should seek forgiveness and repent of your actions. You should also seek counseling and marital counseling if you can. If you cheated in the past and your relationship crumbled, if you repent now it may be too late to save what was lost, but God can still use you going forward. If God has forgiven you, you can move on and choose to live differently now. God can even take your broken life and mend it back together if you will let him.
What if I have been cheated on?
If you have been the victim try to mend things with your spouse. If it is too late for that or your spouse is not willing, know that your life is not over. God can mend your heart and help you move on. I would still recommend counseling to help with working through the issues. If you are still married and your spouse is willing to work through the issues with you, remember that it will take time to rebuild your relationship. Be patient and kind with one another throughout the process.
Divorce is never easy. All relationships have struggles. It is important to remember that we should seek to put the needs of our spouse ahead of our own. When we focus too much on our own needs, we tend to lose sight of what really matters in marriage. If you have cheated you should repent. If you have been cheated on, you must learn to forgive. If the marriage is over, God can still mend your heart. If it is not over and their is hope for restoration, ask God to guide you towards that light.
If you have been divorced and you wish to re-marry, make sure that you put some guidelines in place to keep from finding yourself in the same situation again. Most importantly, ask God to direct your relationships moving forward, and seek to place God first in your life so that he can more readily direct your path.
For anyone wants to see some additional Scripture on this issue, you may look at Deuteronomy 5:18, Exodus 20:14, 22:16-17, Leviticus 18:20, Matthew 5:27, 5:32, Mark 10:11, and Romans 7:3.