Have you ever just burned with anger towards someone else or a certain issue? If so you are not alone. In fact, anger may be one of the biggest struggles that any of us face.
What is Anger?
Anger is an emotion that ranges from mild irritation to rage. It is a strong feeling of hostility or displeasure. People are angry when they are annoyed or frustrated with something or someone.
How should Christians react to someone who is constantly angry?
People who are constantly angry are often difficult to get along with. They are easy to frustrate and difficult to please. But as Christians we are to show patience and understanding in dealing with those who are angry. We should pray for the Lord to change their spirit and to help them become more patient. We should show them genuine love and be kind to them. But we should not make it a habit to spend all of our time with those who are always upset.
Proverbs 22:24: “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man.”
Is there ever a time when it is appropriate to be angry?
Anger is a natural emotion. God created us to feel anger and even he feels anger towards sin. Jesus was angry when the money changes were using the temple as a place to make a profit. He even threw them out and turned over their tables. Evil should make us angry. Human suffering should make us angry. When others do things to intentionally hurt us, we should be angry. But in our anger, we should refrain from sinning.
Ephesians 4:26: “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.”
What does inappropriate anger look like?
Inappropriate anger manifests itself in many forms but often involves someone throwing a tantrum, going on a tirade, or acting childish with reference to his frustration. It involves saying hurtful things that we will later regret. When anger is inappropriate it is cold. Inappropriate anger lacks love.
What does appropriate anger look like?
Appropriate anger is focused on the issue or situation and not a person. It is mature. It seeks to find a solution. It stops evil, but is motivated by love. It presents consequences but feels sadness for those facing the consequences.
How should I react when someone is angry with me?
Hold yourself in check. Proverbs 29:11 “A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.”
If the anger towards you is justified, apologize and ask for forgiveness. Proverbs 15:1 “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
If the anger is not justified, talk it out with the person and see what is behind their frustration. Often times just listening to someone will be enough to help their anger subside.
How should I act when I am angry with someone?
Be willing to talk to the person directly. Do not start gossip by talking to others. Problems are usually solved by going to the source not around it. Be patient and get to the root of the problem. Don’t ignore it and allow the problem to build up inside you. Seek to restore communication and friendship by solving the problem.
James 1:19-20: “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
Proverbs: 19:11: “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.”
Ecclesiastes 7:9: “Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the bosom of fools.”
Proverbs 15:18: “A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.”
Proverbs 14:17: “A man of quick temper acts foolishly, and a man of evil devices is hated.”
What if I have problems controlling my anger?
Everyone loses their patience sometimes, but if you have a problem controlling your anger or frequently find yourself enraged, I recommend finding a good counselor who can help you work through the problems. It is also beneficial to pray and to memorize some Scriptures to say to yourself every time you feel like you are getting out of control. If someone you know struggles with controlling anger, you can pray for God to reveal the problem to them, and you can share your concern with them. It is unwise to share your concern when the person is angry. Wait for an opportunity to share when the person seems to be in a good place to listen.